Fanfiction #18 I Want You

I Want You (I Wish You Were Mine alternate take)

Chapter 1:

Mollie Carrington sighed loudly. Sleep would be coming any minute now.  Any minute.

She closed her eyes and waited.  Nothing.  She couldn’t stop thinking about that night- when Madison had invited herself over for dinner and Jackson had pulled her into his bedroom to ask why her sister was there… and they’d argued… but suddenly, it was something entirely different.  They had a moment.  Mollie was certain of that.  But she hadn’t the faintest idea what the moment meant. 

Surely, he couldn’t feel something for her.  That was absurd.  And even if he did, nothing could happen, right? He was her ex brother-in-law.  Her sister would be furious if even there was a suggestion that Mollie and Jackson were interested in each other. 

But after a few long minutes of thinking about everything, Mollie realized that she couldn’t be bothered to let that little fact hold her back if there was even the slightest inclination that there could be something between herself and Jackson.  Mollie’s mind replayed the events of the evening over and over again.

She recalled the feeling of his hand on her bicep as he dragged her into his room… how it was firm and insistent, but not too hard. She recalled the way the room seemed to heat up and the way it seemed like he wanted to kiss her.  Mollie’s body remembered the longing and the heat that had coursed through her and she mentally slapped herself. This was insane.  She couldn’t keep doing this. 

Mollie decided that she was going to have to calm herself, and perhaps tomorrow, she would have to have a talk with Jackson about whatever was going on with the two of them.  She really hoped that the conversation wouldn’t end with him asking her to move out… even though that had been her eventual plan, she hadn’t gotten much of anywhere with apartment scouting, and the kicker was that she liked it here.  Sure, this was a Park Avenue penthouse. It was much nicer than anything she could ever afford on her own. But it wasn’t so much the nice place that made Mollie really want to stay there… it was being so close to Jackson.  Something felt so right about it most of the time. Even though they’d had their problems in the few weeks she’d lived with him, a lot of it was Jackson going hot and cold on her, and drama with her sister, crazy work schedules, and Mollie saying dumb things that she should’ve known weren’t true and no longer believed.

Still needing to calm down, Mollie got out of bed, since sleep obviously wasn’t coming. She walked quietly down the hall to the kitchen to get a cold glass of water.

To her shock, she’d barely poured the water and put the water pitcher back in the fridge before she heard Jackson behind her. 

“Thought you might be making a kitchen appearance…”

“I was thirsty.”

He nodded, eyes darting to her glass of water. “I see that. Is that all?  Are you feeling better?”

Mollie didn’t have the faintest idea how to answer that.

She’d been faking being sick at the time when  she chose not to eat with Jackson and Maddie, but thinking of the two of them together had made it less of a lie…

Mollie took a sip of the water and sighed. “I felt bad for a while… but I’m alright I guess… now that Maddie’s gone.”

Jackson gave her a knowing look. “I thought it might be something like that.”

She suddenly felt even more guilty for leaving him with Madison and not being there to break the tension… but she sensed that it wouldn’t have mattered much, her being there.

“I love my sister, but…” Mollie put a hand to her forehead.  “I really wish sometimes that I could break free of her… and that she would stop harassing you… I mean, she always acted like she hated you, but now she keeps trying to worm her way back into your life…”

Jackson nodded.  “I think she is getting bored, and that she perhaps wants the prestige of being someone famous again. She sees that us not being married anymore, it’s affecting her fame and she wants that back.  She doesn’t really want me.  And I certainly don’t want her. As far as you breaking free… I know it’ll be hard, but I’m behind you all the way.”

He must have realized how that sounded because he took a long breath. “I meant, if you need support, I’ll be there.”

That made Mollie smile just a little.  “I have no doubt.”

His hazel eyes registered happiness followed by something that could be guilt.  She couldn’t tell.

“Mollie, I’m sorry I keep harping on the affair thing… I bet Maddie flat-out lied and told you that I was a cheating bastard… And I know by not talking to you for a long time, I was keeping you from asking me… I suppose I can’t blame you for that…  besides, you apologized and I should just be ok with that.”

That meant a lot to Mollie and she said as much.

“So, we’re still friends?” she asked, all the while hoping that there was something more to what they were than that.

Jackson pulled her into a hug.  “Of course.”

And he kissed the top of her head. With that, the hug began to feel different. Mollie could feel the flash of heat she’d experienced before in the  bedroom.  Now, her head was against his chest.  He was only in boxers and she could see the scar from his surgery.  Jackson seemed slightly nervous about her seeing that, but Mollie simply murmured, “It doesn’t still hurt, does it?”

“No.  Not anymore… It’s just- no one has seen it but the doc since it happened.”

Mollie nodded, and kissed over the scar.  The air was heavy and she wasn’t quite sure what had possessed her to do such a thing. She was being crazy, getting swept away…

Mollie could feel Jackson’s  breath hitch, and before she knew what was happening, he pinned her against the counter and caged her in.

His voice was rough as he said, “What was that for?”

“Without that scar, you wouldn’t be here in New York… and that’s why I did what I did… besides, I want you.  I’ve been trying to tell myself I don’t and that nothing can happen between us, but whenever you look at me or touch me, I lose it. Perhaps I’m imagining things, Jackson… but earlier, in your room, I could have sworn you felt something too.”

“You’re not wrong, Mollie…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I do want you.  I want you so bad, I’m dying.”

Her heart leapt. And Jackson relaxed a little, pulling her back to him, pressing a kiss to her lips, light at first, feeling her out.  And Mollie kissed him back, loving how the moment was perfect and their mouths fit perfectly.

Their tongues tangled, hands roaming over each other’s bodies. And after a few long moments, Jackson asked if she wanted to take this into the bedroom.

“Oh, yes!” she said enthusiastically.

Jackson grinned and guided Mollie to his room, kissing all the way.  “Do I need…?” He asked.

“I’m on the pill. Everything is good to go.”

Jackson nodded, planting kisses on her neck, collarbone, and the hollow between her breasts. Mollie moaned.  “Take me.”

“Yes, ma’am…” his voice was a low growl and soon, their clothes were on the ground and Mollie was lying on the bed, Jackson on top of her, as she came undone. 

When they caught their breath, Jackson cursed. “Damn it, Mollie… that was-perfect.”

A smile formed on her face as happiness bloomed.

“Yeah, it was.  But so is this… lying in your strong arms, talking to you, feeling you near me…  That’s more than I ever got before… And it means so much more because it’s you.”

She felt her heart drop a little.  What if this made it sound like she was taking this more seriously than Jackson was.

He must have seen the expression on her face and used his thumb to tilt her chin so their eyes met.

“Hey now, darling… don’t be sad.  I’m not going anywhere. If the other guys you’ve dated in the past didn’t see everything you have to offer, then rest assured I do. You, Mollie Carrington- are gorgeous, intelligent, caring, generous, honest,  and damn it, you’re everything…”

Mollie was trying to process his words when he added, “I think I made a mistake getting you a date with Lincoln…. He’s a good guy, and he’d treat  you well… but…” Jackson traced her jawline, kissing the hollow between her breasts, making her moan softly.

“But what?” she sighed as he rolled her on top of him. 

“But I love you, and it wouldn’t be right…”

Tears came to Mollie’s eyes.  “I only asked to  be set up because I thought nothing would ever happen with us… and that I should try to get over you.  It didn’t work…”

Jackson’s hazel eyes sparkled. “You too?”

“Yeah.  I’m ashamed to say I’ve loved you for over eight years.  I never said anything because you were with Maddie… but I was smitten with you from the start.”

He gave her a grim smile. “I always wondered why you seemed so sad whenever you were in the same room with Maddie and I… now I know.”

She kissed the base of his throat.  “I felt so disloyal… I’d always tried to do the right thing, but my heart did what was, at the time, the wrong thing… You were the first guy who was ever nice to me and I went and fell in love.”

“Do you want to know something, Molls?” he kissed her temple, hands roaming her shoulders.

She murmured that she did.

“On my wedding day, something felt off.  I didn’t know what that thing was until later.  Part of it was that Madison was wrong for me.  The other part was that you were special and I should cherish you and your friendship for the rest of my days.  I remembered that when the divorce was final and I felt I needed to make a change.  That’s why I moved to New York out of all the places in the world.  I made the decision before I officially signed on with Oxford.”

He rolled her onto her back, pressing kisses to her neck.

“So, what does all this mean?” She asked.

“It means that I am serious about you… about us.  It means that I love you and want you more than I’ve ever loved or wanted anything in my life. Football, Madison, or Texas… none of that means anything anymore.  They’re all a part of my past, and I intend to keep them there. You on the other hand, Miss Carrington…” he smiled, a mischievous look in his hazel eyes. “You’re my present… and my future.  I know that. I want to wake up every morning next to you… I want to come home to you every weekday.  I want every kiss at midnight on New Year’s.  The good days, and bad ones, as well as the plain old boring ones.  I want all of yours.”

Mollie’s breath caught.  “I want all of yours too.”