Decisions
(I Wish You Were Mine)
Chapter 1:
While out for lunch with the Oxford guys, Jackson’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He went to silence it… but when he did, he saw the text from his old coach.
“Sorry I was hard on you, son. That pretty wife of yours came by and told me how everything was. That you’re still the man I thought you were. So, if you want it, there’s an offensive coordinator position available as soon as possible. It’s here if you want it.”
He’d gotten the job. And he had Madison to thank for it. But somehow, the message didn’t give him the feeling he expected to have. He thought he’d be happy. But all he could think about was the look on Mollie’s face when he’d have to tell her he was leaving… and it gutted him inside to think that he could cause someone he cared about so much pain. Another thing about this message and the job that bothered him was the fact that Madison was the person who told Jerry and so that must mean she had something up her sleeve. He knew he’d need to have some time to process everything and make up his mind what he wanted to do, but for the moment, Jackson was numb.
The guys were thinking of the one question they would get to ask him off the record about Mollie… and now, it looked like they’d decided what the question would be.
He tried to shake off the text message, but he knew that he would be thinking of it in the background for the rest of the day.
Cole looked at Lincoln who nodded back, and Lincoln looked at Jackson, took a breath, and just asked, “Do you love her?”
Jackson’s breath caught. He hadn’t thought about it. After what Madison did to him, Jackson didn’t believe in love… at least, that’s what he’d been telling himself. Another thing was that a question that went along with the one asked by his new friends was- what were they? What was Mollie to him? He could take the easy out and tell himself that they were friends and roommates, ex siblings in law… but that wouldn’t be the entire truth.
When Jackson didn’t answer right away, Cole asked if he’d heard the question.
“Yeah, um… I heard it… I just don’t know how to answer it.”
Lincoln sighed. “Burke, seriously. I wanted to ask a different question but I was overruled. I wanted to ask what you and Mollie are… like what stage of your relationship are you in… but I was voted down. Wanna know the reason why I picked that question?”
“Sure.”
“Because I thought from the way you talk about Mollie, how protective you are of her, how happy you were last weekend- it should be obvious how you feel about her.”
When Jackson couldn’t muster up something to say to that, Lincoln looked exasperated and grabbed Jackson’s phone, finding Mollie’s contact information, and dialed her number.
Jackson felt a surge of anger but also fear.
Mollie must have picked up because Jackson could hear her chirp happily on the other end of the call without even having to be the one holding the phone.
It sounded like she said, “Hi, Jackson! I hope nothing’s wrong. You’re ok, right?”
With that, Lincoln put her on speaker, cleared his throat, and said, “Actually, this is Lincoln. I stole his phone.”
“Ok? Why?”
“Because there’s a question I need to be answered…”
“And that is?” She said in a hesitant voice.
“How do you feel about Jackson?”
Mollie was silent for a moment, seeming agitated. “Does he know you stole his phone? He won’t like that you took it…”
“I’ll give it right back. He’ll never miss it.”
Mollie seemed stunned and wary. But after a shaky breath, she said, “Ok, fine… but please don’t tell him. I need to do it myself. I’m just a coward…”
“I won’t tell him,” Lincoln said. Jackson’s heart was beating wildly.
“Ok.” She sighed. “I love him. He’s the one… the only one. To be honest, I’m glad you canceled the date… I only asked to get set up because I didn’t think he would ever want me.”
Jackson’s heart cracked at that.
He ran a hand through his hair in misery.
But Lincoln didn’t stop there. He asked, “Where do you think the relationship is?”
Mollie inhaled sharply. “I don’t know… I mean, we live together, and we’re sleeping together… And most of the time, I would say that we’re sort of an item… but he’s never said anything about what we are… it both seems to mean too much and somehow, not enough… to him anyway. I don’t know what to think. I might just be a fling or a friend with benefits to him, and I guess I can’t be angry at that. I mean, these past few weeks have been perfect… It felt right, you know?”
“I know. Thank you, Mollie. Perhaps we’ll meet sometime in this big city. But until then, you have a good day.”
And he hung up.
Lincoln handed the phone back to Jackson. “There you go. Now you have your answer. What are you going to do about it?”
Jackson took a breath and turned to the group. “I love her. Ok? I love her and she’s not a fling or a friend with benefits. She’s more than just a girlfriend or a lover… she’s everything. Mollie is everything. She’s it for me.”
Lincoln patted Jackson on the back, a kind gesture that Jackson hadn’t expected.
“You see, man… you knew the answer. You just didn’t know you knew until you found out that Mollie felt the same.”
Cole looked at Jackson with an understanding glance, “She sounds like an absolute treasure, Burke… I think she’ll fit right in with our group.”
“Yeah, Sharp is correct.” Cassidy nodded at Jackson. “She must be something special to turn you from an antisocial diva into a happy guy.”
“To be honest, you seem generally happier now than when you were playing football. I know that seems weird because that was your dream career, but I think it was your now-ex. You had pretty much everything except the one thing you needed… love. Now, you have that.”
Jackson nodded. “Thanks, guys, I needed this… I hate to admit it, but my mind has been doing circles trying to figure out what this thing with Mollie is. Turns out, I should have been using my heart instead… And I needed to figure out what my priorities were. Mollie is the main one… but getting my image in order will help clear the slate, and I won’t have it all hanging over me.”
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